A wise man named Coach once paraphrased an even wiser man named William Shakespeare and said, “There is a tide that comes in the lives of men that when taken leads to great fortune but when omitted, all the rest of their lives are bound in shallows and misery … I want to make sure that I make the right decision so I can ride that tide all the way to the end of this game that I love so dearly.” Time to whip out your boogie board Coach, because the tide has rolled in and it’s sink or swim for the Te Tuna, aka Upolu, members.
The episode begins after Whitney was voted out last week. Cochran, after comparing the tribe to the Manson murders, begs the other Manson-cult members (Upolu) for his life to be spared one more week because he so selflessly betrayed his original tribe for them. While I see Cochran’s point, I’m not exactly in favor of this move because it puts DermStore’s favorite survivor, Dr. Edna Ma, on the chopping block.
Redemption Island time! The current reigning king of duels and fan favorite (ok, maybe not fan favorite, could just be my favorite) Ozzy is back to battle the newest Redemption Island castaways, Dawn and Whitney. The challenge is balancing an amount on dishes on the end of a stick, periodically adding to the stack. After several rounds of stacking more and more dishes, Dawn is the first person out, followed by Whitney. Woo Hoo! The scruffy haired fishing phenom lives to see another day on Survivor South Pacific! Annnnd cut to the obligatory shots of Ozzy scavengering, spear fishing, climbing trees and declaring Redemption Island paradise and himself the God of the Hunt. To be fair, dude sure does back up his boasting, so who is to argue?
After the Ozzy montage, there is another obligatory montage of Coach and his yogi-apprentice, Cochran, practicing tai chi in the surf- which Coach declares will guarantee one of them to win the Immunity Challenge. So does it? Nope, sure doesn’t. Albert, Sophie and Rick are the three winners of a mini-bean-bag-toss challenge. They advance onto the final Immunity Challenge, sling shoting coconuts at tribal statues. I’m sure Albert and Rick were shaking in their metaphorical boots because Sophie has won the last two Immunity Challenges and has proven herself as a fierce competitor, even in physical challenges against much bigger tribe members. However, third time is not a charm for Sophie and Prince Albert (or so Rick calls him) wins Immunity and reward. In a blatant effort to win jury votes down the line, Albert forgoes his reward (a spa day) and gives it to Coach and Cochran.
With the Tribal Council looming, Cochran knows he is next to go and then it will be Edna, so he gathers the Bareease and Cream creator and gets to work. He leverages a pretty compelling case to Albert for voting off Rick, which Albert is in on, as long as Coach goes along with it. But will Coach go against his original game plan and fight with or against his little yoga apprentice, Cochran-son?
Tribal Council was my favorite part of the episode this week for a couple reasons. First, because I know that Edna is safe for another few days. Second, because there was some drama with a capital “D” (or maybe a “B” for Brandon?). Do you know how long it has been since Brandon has raised his hand in tribal council? The answer is TOO LONG! But he did raise his hand this week, and you know everything that follows is bound to be pure entertainment. Te Tuna and Jeff Probst were In the middle of discussing perfectly logical tribe related issues when out of the blue, Mr. Hantz Jr has a break down and raises his hand. After laying out the sequential order of his future Tribal Council votes, he then declares, while choking back tears, “I want to do bad things.” Um, like what Brandon? Taking extra portions of food bad? Voting out of order bad? Or like, Manson cult bad? I guess we will have to wait till next week to find out which of the halo and horn wearing figures on his shoulders wins out.
Ultimately, Cochran met his untimely (timely?) fate and was the latest member voted to Redemtion Island. So, is Edna next? Does Cochran stand a chance in Redemption Island against Ozzy the Great?