Over the last few seasons we’ve seen a number of styles and trends that can only be summed up as fashion faux pas. 2012 itself came with a number of instant trends that may have seemed reputable at first, but it must be remembered that this is a new year and we will no longer tolerate indiscretions like YOLO. So I’ve put together a list of 7 trends—some from last year and a few that have somehow made it through more than one calendar year—that I just can’t take anymore. Let me know if you agree with the list or if you think I’m a typically ignorant male, but let me just say to formal UGG wearers, you’re lucky.
1. TOMS wedges
Sorry…I’m not sorry to the devoted fans out there who are probably rummaging around trying to find last year’s wedges with summer fast approaching, please, just stop. I don’t know what it is exactly, maybe it’s the cheap cork and espadrille look, but everything about them just comes across as so tacky to me. I know wedges are very handy to have and I don’t mind them in your trainers or when they blend in with a shoes upper, but those TOMS espadrille and cork wedges are just so cheap looking and not needed…ever.
2. Drop-crotch and Harem pants
Thought I’d bring out the combo here because I don’t know why they’re still around, but you’re paying a ridiculous amount of money for something that quite frankly just looks ridiculous. What is it about them anyway? Drop-crotch pants are tight at the calf and loose at the butt, is that meant to be the perfect mix of hipster skinny legs jeans and rappers baggy pants? And the Harem pants look more like an embarrassing throwback to MC Hammer than an item of haute couture. Celebs like Jennifer Lopez have tried their hand at the pants, but all it seems to do is make their butts look huge and saggy. Stop that please.
3. Day-glo animal print
I would hope that everyone has had enough of LMFAO and their nonsensical clothing, closely followed by their redundant lyrics. The mishmash of colors isn’t attractive, and it seems mostly worn by those desperate to hold on to their youth. Psst! It’s not working. Redfoo, you’re 37 years old, stop party rockin! We’re lucky going through Winter it’s far too stupid to wear, so let’s just hope this continues in the Spring.
4. The see through shirt
Ladies please explain this one to me because I don’t have the slightest clue why you’d want to be showing off your bra. I understand it can be about a quality fabric you’re wearing over the top, but a lot of the popularity this has brought is glued securely to your midriff, and is that really what you’re after? Is it fashionable? Is it meant to show off your assets? They say the VPL is coming back too, what’s next?
5. Performance sneakers + suit
Guys, we have to be careful we’re not getting too lazy with our footwear when wearing a suit and just calling it a new style statement. With colorful and sleek looking wingtips still the rage with cuffed pants, we’re getting a bit too close to the curve when donning a suit and chucking on a pair of Chuck Taylor’s or neon Nike Free’s. If you’re donning a suit, don’t be stupid.
6. The mullet skirt
One of the worst—yet still hilarious—hair styles ever is the mullet, and for some reason women everywhere are wearing the short-in-the-front, long-in-the-back skirt that simply looks like a mullet strapped to your behind. Now don’t jump the gun I’ve seen a number of beautiful dresses that still fall and flow effortlessly at the front, but the mid-thigh high mini-skirt variations are horrendous.
Sorry mate but I would’ve thought you and your Gangnam style was going to be one of the first things to be left in 2012, but seeing you in that Super Bowl half-time ad for pistachios, I knew it was only but a dream. Three months into the New Year and the South Korean social media sensation is back, this time endorsing skin care of all things. Not your conventional skin care endorser, the rotund man has already proven a hit helping to sell over 200,000 men’s balms for Somang Cosmetics and their Energy Factor line, but I just hope for all our sakes that we’ve seen the last of the imaginary horse.