So I came across a product the other day that I thought was pretty ridiculous. Maybe as a young bloke it’s not on my list of concerns, yet, but obviously men are starting to take far too much time staring in the mirror or in the shower to be concerned with gray hair, and not the kind you can get tended to at the hairdresser. A new product called Below the Belt: Color Where It Counts promises to eradicate grayness in the groin area in just 30 minutes! Get out of town. But it got me thinking about the ridiculous products and devices that are out there and how they are being marketed at blokes. I can understand there is a need for such maintenance once you hit a certain age, but I’ve done a little research on some products that are just stupid.
Firstly we’ve got the pee funnel, or formally known as the home urinal thanks to Gold Man. I’m not sure if I should feel hurt that people think us men are bad aims, or if this is a genius product. Well really it’s neither. Supposedly this was designed for cleanliness reasons and to help curve the amount of urine that strikes the seat. But this still has to be cleaned, and it’s suggested that the shower is the best bet to get a proper clean. My question to Mr. Gold Man; wouldn’t it just be easier to pee in the shower? Yes, yes it would.
Next up we have the GoateeSaver, the facial guard that’s meant to help us blokes shave around the all-important goatee. If you’re tired of spending hours looking in the mirror trying to achieve that perfectly symmetrical goatee, enter the GoateeSaver, a device that looks like it weighs a ton that you clamp around your mouth. This slightly robotic device is designed to help preserve your natural growth lines, even though it will make you look a little like Bane from Batman.
Lastly, and quite possibly my personal favorite as I see its usefulness but still struggle to picture it actually being used, we have the UroClub – the golf club urination device. For all those times you’re stuck out on the fairway with no bathroom in site and too many players around you to go behind the bushes, just reach into your bag and pull out your trusty UroClub. Complete with its own privacy shield, the UroClub looks like your standard iron, with a slightly thicker grip, so you can fool those around you and relieve yourself while everyone else pinches and waits for the 19th hole. Useful? Definitely. Practical? Probably not.
I’m not too sure why there’s such a focus on trying to alter the way we go to the toilet, but for a simple task these devices are complicating the process far too much.