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MANLY MONDAY: The Grammys

Recognizing outstanding achievement in the music industry, the Grammys have been the pinnacle for performers since it was first held in 1959. Now we all know “artists” can be quite, how should we put it, eccentric at times. Whether that be in their lyrics, on-stage performances, romantic choices, or just their day-to-day attire. Well last night the 55th Grammy Awards were held, and it’s important at such an event that you show your own style and be a little unconventional—without looking ridiculous of course! So it was my pleasure to go through the guest list and see who brought that extra oomph to the table, and who needed a lesson in event etiquette. Judge for yourselves, tell me if I’m right or wrong, because here are my best and worst from the 2013 Grammys. 

 

John Mayer

johnmayer

When I look at this I can’t help but think of Gene Wilder in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Honestly all he needs is the top hat. I endorse going for a bit of color, but I think it’s the velvet that’s throwing me off here.

 

Adele

adele

Everyone loves you Adele and I think most British children would as well because you look like Mary Poppins. Too harsh? How about a table cloth? Or a nice curtain from the 70′s? We all know that bold prints like this, especially floral, just aren’t meant for the red carpet.

 

Rihanna

55th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Arrivals

I’ve been quick to judge Rihanna lately purely because I think her blatant sexualization of the music industry has gone way too far. But this was a big surprise. A mature, elegant, custom Azzedine Alaia gown, with ombré curls—Lea Michele take note—beautifully matching crimson gown and lips, and a train that fell effortlessly in her wake. Now as a 24-year-old, this is what we want to see a bit more of. 

 

Beyonce

bey

She can’t seem to do anything wrong lately in the wardrobe department, and this is what I’m talking about being “unconventional-but-kept-together.” Who would have known a jumpsuit would be suitable for the red carpet? The graphic black-and-white design shows off those toned arms, while the sleek pants never let us forget those curves. Her perfect makeup and hair—as usual—keep her topping the lists.

 

Jennifer Lopez

jlopez

One week you’re hot, the next you’re not. I’ve been backing her lately, but such is the industry that Jennifer Lopez has again taken a hit. Well she really had it coming with this outfit. I don’t really know where to start, but it’s never a good sign when my colleague leans over and says, “geez, she looks a little fat”. Then we have that slit that’s showing way too much leg, and the topknot with so much bare skin? It just doesn’t work on any level.

 

Kimbra

Kimbra 

Another New Zealander that we Australians like to claim as our own. But looking at this dress, I’m not claiming anything. I honestly think she looks like Tinkerbell, and something a child would dress up as for Halloween. This design has gone way over the top with the tulle, and the gold fragments look like those tiny flakes floating around in a bottle of Goldschlager.

 

Katy Perry

55th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Arrivals

People (men) will debate that this gown should get on the best list. The seafoam green gown doesn’t really have much going for it apart from the obvious and ridiculous boob window. The pale color isn’t doing anything apart from washing out her already pale complexion, and the floral arrangement around the bust looks cheap. But oh yeah that’s right, there’s that bust again. A window is meant to be looked through, so she does get points for attracting our (my) attention, but that’s about it.

 

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One Comment

  1. golden snitch
    Posted February 11, 2013 at 1:00 pm | Permalink

    “bottle of Goldschlager” LULZ

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